Man - Husband - Father

It just occurred to me that I might want to explain the title of this little experiment, uh, I mean blog, "Man - Husband - Father". Many years ago, as I was leaving high school and entering high school: part ii (aka: junior college), like most of my peers I was discovering who I was. At that point I took on these three words as a mantle of the identity I wanted for myself. The order is intentional as I believe one must be a real man in order to be a successful husband. Likewise, I believe it is essential to be a good husband (as far as it depends on you) in order to be a good father.

As a follower of Jesus, the definition of manhood I seek to live out is not the same as what you might see in popular media. It has very little, if anything, to do with material success, physical appearance or sexual prowess. Ultimately, real manhood has to do with character. By character I am mostly referring to the manner in which one lives out his life. (This applies to women to but since I'm talking about manhood here, I'll stick with masculine pronouns, thanks ladies) Things like integrity, honesty, fairness, patience, humility and courage. The bible has a great list (I love lists) of character traits called "The fruit of the spirit": Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control. These are the things that I want to be true of me. On any given day I will be more or less successful at these but that is what I strive for. I am convinced that the only way that I will ever even get close to being that kind of man is by the power of God through the work of the Holy Spirit (hence "the fruit of the Spirit).

Moving on...

Ever since I was young I very much looked forward to being married. It is a cliche in our popular culture for men to be afraid of commitment. I was as far from that stereotype as you can get. I got a full 8 hours of sleep on the night before my wedding. I couldn't have been more excited to share my life with this woman! If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting her, let me assure you, she's fabulous. I knew going in that marriage would be difficult and I assumed it would be fun and rewarding. It is so much more than either of those things. I've come to learn that marriage is about way more than my wife and me enjoying each others' company. We have a purpose as a couple. Much like the definition of manhood, the purpose for marriage comes from God (who made both men and marriage). The way the Bible puts it, marriage is one of the ways God shows us how He relates to His people. That is a huge task! My marriage is supposed to be a picture of how Jesus relates to his followers! Wow... Um, nothing more to say about that at this time. So much more to say though.

Last year I had the most amazing experience of my life when my daughter was born. I wish the experience was as pleasant for my wife but, well, lets just say that we're trying to help her forget so we can have another one some day. So, now that I am a father, something I have also been looking forward to since I was a boy, I can see that my work as a father began long before Anne was born. I mean this in two ways. In one way, the day-to-day reality of caring for a baby and nurturing her is something I prepared for mentally and emotionally all along because it was something I wanted very much. The other way in which my work as a father had already been going on was in the lives of friends and younger people I met. I have always had a father's heart and have tried to take care of others. Many times I have had the opportunity to be present for someone whose own father either couldn't be or never really was. Again, I learned how to be a father mostly from my heavenly Father (that's God by the way, in case you haven't been paying attention) but not always directly. He has sent many men into my life who have shown me bits and pieces of what it means to be a father. Youth leaders, pastors, teachers were all great influences. In recent years my father-in-law has been a great encouragement. And last, but certainly not least (though I doubt he knows it), my own father showed me what it means for a man to sacrifice for his family, as well as many other important lessons.

So, these three words represent the heart of who I am and desire to be. First, I want to be a man of Godly character. Then I want to give myself up sacrificially as a husband to Cristen. Finally, I want to raise my daughter(s and sons) well and to be a surrogate father for those in need of one.