Employment

I know it has been very long since I last wrote. I didn't bother to go back and see when the last post was. I'm sure I'd just be annoyed at myself. The reason for the hiatus, I suppose, is a combination of writer's block, thinker's block and just plain lack of internal motivation.

For those of you who are not aware, the last eight months have been a particularly trying time for me as far as employment goes. Up until then I had been the primary caretaker for my amazing daughter Anne. (If you doubt the 'amazing' you clearly haven't met her) As of September last year my sister-in-law Tracy took over those duties so I could go back to work. But there is the rub. When I graduated from seminary in 2008 we were just entering the worst job market in my lifetime and things have not really improved since. For months I scoured job boards looking for opportunities I could pursue only to be continually disappointed at the utter lack of anything that resembled a job I would actually want that might, even in some small way, be considered a 'career'. At various times I did find jobs I was very interested in.

First I found a job posting for doing drafting for Habitat for Humanity. I was blown away at how awesome that seemed and how perfect for me. I immediately applied and tried to contact their HR by phone. I never heard anything from anyone and was never able to get through to anyone.

Then, I considered an option I had, up to this point, flatly ignored. I looked into becoming a chaplain in the military, the Navy, to be precise. I pursued that for months, getting more and more excited about the opportunity to counsel young men and women and serve God in some unique ways. Much to my surprise it was one of the requirements that I was sure I met that turned out to be my undoing. It turned out that the US military requires that their chaplains have an advanced degree of no less than 72 units. My MA is 66 units. Six units short. And, no, I could not go back and take two classes. Apparently that is not acceptable. So, we move on.

At the moment I am in an even stranger place though. In the middle of March I was at a birthday party for a two year old boy at my church who goes to Sunday school with my aforementioned amazing daughter, Anne. That boy's grandfather is a wonderful man who I have known almost as long as I have been at that church and we got to talking about my job search. I must clarify, by 'we' I mean he and I and my wife and sister-in-law. Its far too complex to go into here but suffice it to say, that combination of people in that conversation steered it in a direction that it would have been unlikely to go had the situation been different. About a week later I had a job. A job I did not particularly want. A job I still do not particularly want.

Now, flash back a week before that conversation. I was looking around on job boards again and I came across a posting for a job that I had only even believed existed in my wildest dreams. As far as I have been able to gather from the posting it would be a combination of almost all my talents, passions, education and experiences. Naturally I applied but with little hope of actually getting the job as I am certain there are scores of people who are just as passionately interested as I am. Since applying there has been a single ray of hope that I might, at least, get past the first stage and get an interview. But it has been many weeks as I wait for news.

Now, this blog was never actually intended to be for posts like this. I intended to pontificate about interesting topics related to manhood, husbandhood, fatherhood, Christianity, modern culture and films. But, right now, this is what I've got. I suppose, in a way, this does relate to all those topics (except probably film) but I don't have the emotional energy to pontificate. So, I guess this will just be what it is.

Fidelity

I often think and speak about living out our faith as followers of Jesus in the world and how we ought to interact with people who don't yet follow Him. The reality is that I am rarely able to do so myself. I did have one of those rare opportunities tonight. I went climbing at our local climbing gym with my sister-in-law and her husband. They have made some friends there and I got to meet them as well. One of the young men semi-spontaneously asked if we thought it was possible to be in a long term relationship without cheating. Of course, we said it is certainly possible and offered our relationships as evidence. I wasn't expecting to be able to talk with him further about it but as he was leaving I happened to be sitting near his stuff and we got to talking again.

I'm hopeful that what I said to him about relationships is helpful and moves him closer to God but I also learned from the experience. As I continued to reflect on the frame of mind required for someone in his position to have a relationship and remain faithful I examined my own heart. I recognized that what it requires for me is to put my wife and her needs before myself and my needs. I was, of course, struck by how imperfectly I do that and was faced with some real change that is needed in my own heart. It is a matter of choice. I must make the choice moment by moment to let go of what I want or even what I need in favor of what my wife, my daughter, my friends and others need. This is certainly a counter-cultural notion. A counter-cultural notion that could change the world if those of us who follow the One who embodied it and taught it would live it out more and more.