Movie Review #9: I'm Still Here

Until director Casey Affleck admitted, just days after its release, that the events depicted in his latest film "I'm Still Here" were fictional, no one quite knew for sure if two-time Academy Award nominee Joaquin Phoenix had, in fact, retired from acting to pursue a career as a hip-hop artist. So elaborate was the ruse that whenever he was in public or on camera, Phoenix was in character as JP, a fictionalized version of himself. In order to give this film an adequate run-down I will need to approach it from multiple angles.

First, I have to admit that I honestly did not enjoy watching this film. That's not to say it was a bad film, as I'll explain I think that this film shows a particular kind of genius and I'm very glad I watched it this once. That being said, I have no desire to watch it again, nor can I truly recommend it to anyone else. I will give you fair warning. If you are in any way squeamish or easily offended by profanity and crudeness avoid this film entirely. Don't worry, you'll still be able to participate in the fascinating and worthwhile discussions it raises.

Which brings me to my next point which is the genius of what Affleck and JP created. Were it not for the visceral, negative reaction to this film that my movie-going companion had and the great lengths I went to to defend its makers I might not have delved deep enough to explain here what I suspect these young celebrities were trying to accomplish. What they did transcended the standard film making formula in ways that are indebted to mockumentarians Rob Reiner and Christopher Guest as well as Sacha Baron Cohen's "Borat". However, what they made was neither a mockumentary (I don't believe they intended to mock anything) nor an elaborate prank meant to shock. It was certainly elaborate but the sense I got was that they wanted to create a portrait that would draw their audience in farther than the artifice of film generally allows. To that end they produced a character, not on a movie set but on the public stage. Then they filmed that character. What I think they achieved was a piece of art that accomplishes what only art can do, namely raise deep questions about real issues with the safety and distance of the media but the real, raw emotion of a group therapy session. It is a dangerous game to play, and it may end up backfiring on them, but at the very least it raises serious questions. It raises questions about deception and film. Is the deception of this film any different than any other film? If so, how and is that difference significant? Perhaps it also sheds light on the deception inherent in mass media. It certainly exposes the interactions between celebrity, media and culture by blurring those lines.

I can't do this review justice without recounting the experience of my friend who accompanied me. He had not heard about Casey Affleck's admission that the film was fictional. He is a very compassionate young man who spends a great deal of his time around people broken by addiction who are struggling with many of the same issues facing JP in the film. As we sat there watching what he took to be a real life nervous breakdown and descent he became visibly upset. At one point he made a comment which made me realize he hadn't heard the news so I enlightened him. From then on a sense of betrayal was all that was left. Affleck and Phoenix had played on his heartstrings and then told him it was a lie. I am left wondering how many others had a similar reaction. That is the risk taken by these filmmakers and, no doubt, the debate will go on regarding their intentions and how successful they were in achieving those goals.

Waiting

Let me just be right up front about this in no uncertain terms.

I
HATE
WAITING

That is a general statement that you can take to the bank. If I'm put in a situation in which I have to wait, I am not pleased. Somehow, I'm beginning to get the feeling that God feels the need to change that about me. Otherwise, why would He continually place me in life situations in which I have no choice but to wait? Of course, I'm not talking about your every day, run of the mill waiting in line here. Oh, no! I'm talking about the continued financial viability of my family is on the line and I have to wait for Him to provide me with some means of actively earning money. Needless to say, this is not a position I would choose for myself. In need of a job in the middle of the worst job market in my lifetime. Stuck between two half-careers. Before this sinks further into ranting and self pity I will move on.

I don't like waiting because I like to be in control. I like to feel powerful. I like to determine how my life will go. When I have to wait I am no longer in control of my situation. I feel powerless. I feel weak. Aha! Perhaps we're getting down to it after all. One of the paradoxes of life lived in relationship with God is that when I am weak I am actually at my strongest. It makes zero point zero sense until I stop looking at myself and the world around me and remember that there's this whole God person who is actually in charge of everything. On my own I have a very limited amount of strength. We all do have some strength. Some of us leverage it into greater strengths than others through hard work and self-promotion. Others are in position to compile the strength of others for their own use. No matter how much strength we can accumulate, however, it will ultimately be a joke compared to the limitless power of the almighty creator of all that exists that is not Himself. So, when He decides that He is going to honor me by using me as a vessel it requires emptying me of all my pathetic "strength" so that He can fill me up with the power to move mountains.

So, here I am, empty. I'm waiting on God to do something with me. As the song says, waiting is the hardest part. The longer I wait, the more doubt creeps in. The longer I wait the more frustrated and angry I become. The longer I wait the deeper my faith has to grow in order to wait one more day. I guess that means that my faith will be deeper tomorrow than it was today. That is certainly worth waiting for.