Patience

I have never been good at this. I want what I want when I want it. I'm not particularly unusual in that respect from most Americans but I can only really speak for myself and I am not patient. Granted I'm more patient now than I used to be but I'm still far from being what I would consider being legitimately defined as patient. I don't like to wait. I don't handle waiting particularly well. The problem is only increased when what I'm waiting for is critically important.

I've been waiting for a while now for God to direct me to some sort of gainful employment which I might participate in to support my family. Its hard to say for certain if I've grown more patient as a result of waiting or if I've merely resigned myself and given up caring as much. Suffice it to say, I'm becoming less anxious about it and, in that sense at least, I'm doing better. My hope, of course, is that I'm growing in patience and learning to trust that God will come through.

It is interesting to reflect on one's own character in light of trying to raise a child. I want to teach my daughter to be patient of course but in doing so I will be a hypocrite if I don't strive to be patient myself. I actually have to give her a lot of credit though because for being only 17 months old she does a remarkable job of waiting patiently when we ask her to. Sometimes I think she may actually be able to teach me to be patient. So, between learning from her and from the circumstances into which God has placed me for this season I hope to become better at waiting because God is wiser than I am and He knows that giving me what I want when I want it is not good for me. Therefore, I wait... patiently.