Procrastination

I have exactly 29 minutes to post this in order to fulfill my requirements to post at least once every calendar week. It is typical of me to be doing something like this at the last minute. Almost every paper I wrote in school was written the day before it was due. I guess I've always been a procrastinator. It is a character flaw in me that I am simultaneously ashamed of and totally comfortable with. I have made virtually no effort to change it, ever. However, it is something I generally don't want people to know about me. I suppose that is because I fear that it is evidence of a more pervasive laziness in me. That is something I have worked to change but I am often disappointed at my lack of success.

I do have my moments though. Once I get going, I'm a very good worker. For example, in my current situation, I have a number of things that I need to do. Things like laundry, dishes, errands and the like. Most weeks I will do little to nothing on most days but one or two days a week I will accomplish almost everything at once. I've always likened my work habits to inertia. If I'm at rest, I tend to want to stay at rest. If I'm in motion, I will likely stay in motion. I have never been a "self-starter" unfortunately every single employer in the known universe only wants to hire "self-starters". Given the variety of personalities in the world I would speculate that only 1/4 of the people on the planet are truly "self-starters". Most of us need to be motivated. For some, money is sufficient motivation. I suppose that is the only downside to the active steps I've taken to try to not conform to the world's pattern of valuing money. Money is not as powerful a motivator for me as it is for most people. Besides, even if it was, I doubt that I would ultimately be doing what I was made to do if I sought employment solely for monetary gain.

When it comes down to it, all of those rationalizations are meaningless. It doesn't matter what I would do naturally and its good that money isn't my motivation but that doesn't mean I don't need to motivate myself. The fact of the matter is, God has created me and called me for His purposes. I have two choices. I can sit around and give in to inertia or I can stand up and say, "Here am I Lord, send me" and go.

I made it! 11:45