Dissonance

Lately I've been experiencing an uncomfortable disparity between what I believe to be true of God and how He interacts with His people, and how I feel about the current situation into which he has placed me, or allowed me to be placed at least. I know what the Bible says. He is always with me. He will never leave me. He is working all things together for my good. But, if I'm honest with myself. I don't feel like that. I feel like He's toying with me. "Haha! Lets see how much longer we can get him to twist in the wind before he breaks."

*sigh*

I'm thankful that as powerful as those feelings have been at times they have yet to penetrate the knowledge I have of God so that I truly believe such things of Him. So far, my belief in Him is steadfast but, somehow, the steadfast nature of my belief makes the dissonance that much harder to bear. The more firmly I cling to my hope in Him, the more it hurts that I don't see any change in my circumstances. That's not to say that I don't see any change. In many ways, I am changing, despite the pull of circumstances, in positive and healthy ways.

I suppose that experience does match up with my belief in God's character. Things like finances and job situations are simple matters and not high on His list of priorities. Growing my character, however, is much more complicated and a high value for Him. He wants me to be like Jesus and that is no small thing. Comfort and ease do not often build such character so I shouldn't wonder that I am uncomfortable and ill at ease.

Movie Review #10: The Social Network

Jon Rasmussen is writing a review of "The Social Network".

Now that you're up to date on my status. Lets get on to reviewing David Fincher's latest cinematic offering about Mark Zuckerberg and the creation of Facebook. I have to admit that I was surprised when I first saw a preview for "The Social Network". I've been quite familiar with Facebook for quite some time now but I had no idea that anything about it could possibly make for a compelling movie. Little did I know that lurking beneath the clean, addictive and wildly popular social networking site was a fascinating tale of desire, genius and the perks and perils of success.

The story of Facebook and the creative genius behind it, Mark Zuckerberg, is somewhat shrouded in mystery. As we are informed by the text at the end, most of the real-life counterparts of characters in the movie have signed non-disclosure agreements with regard to their dealings with Zuckerberg. This, for me, begs the question of how the story came to be known to Ben Mezerich, author of the source material. However the story that appeared on the screen got there, it is indeed compelling.

In "The Social Network" Mark Zuckerberg is the stereotypical nerd. He is socially awkward, incredibly brilliant and has difficulty with the ladies. When we meet him he is having a conversation with his girlfriend who attends another university near enough to Harvard for them to have met and had a relationship. Things do not go well and Mark goes home and, while drunk, hacks half of the servers on Harvard's network. All Mark really wants is recognition and status. His one ambition is to be invited into one of the ultra-exclusive clubs on campus. The clubs are cool, have crazy parties and all but ensure future financial success. As we follow him on his journey from that drunken night in his dorm room to two separate depositions for lawsuits brought against him by two different parties we see the rise of the youngest billionaire in the world and we learn that the title of this film goes far beyond defining what Facebook brings to the internet. What Mark understands is that Facebook is not creating a social network where none previously existed. Rather, it is digitizing a pre-existing network of friendships and acquaintances. The relationships that make up this network are not nearly as simple and clean as they appear on the computer screen.

Like any great film, "The Social Network" brings up fantastic topics for further discussion. Unlike the last film I reviewed, however, I very much enjoyed watching this one and highly recommend it. I will ask you to do me a favor though. Please don't just watch this film. Think about it. Talk about it. Blog about it. Because every film should invoke a specific response and what more appropriate response could there be to a film about Facebook than exercising the forum provided by the internet and adding your voice to the mix?

Movie Review #9: I'm Still Here

Until director Casey Affleck admitted, just days after its release, that the events depicted in his latest film "I'm Still Here" were fictional, no one quite knew for sure if two-time Academy Award nominee Joaquin Phoenix had, in fact, retired from acting to pursue a career as a hip-hop artist. So elaborate was the ruse that whenever he was in public or on camera, Phoenix was in character as JP, a fictionalized version of himself. In order to give this film an adequate run-down I will need to approach it from multiple angles.

First, I have to admit that I honestly did not enjoy watching this film. That's not to say it was a bad film, as I'll explain I think that this film shows a particular kind of genius and I'm very glad I watched it this once. That being said, I have no desire to watch it again, nor can I truly recommend it to anyone else. I will give you fair warning. If you are in any way squeamish or easily offended by profanity and crudeness avoid this film entirely. Don't worry, you'll still be able to participate in the fascinating and worthwhile discussions it raises.

Which brings me to my next point which is the genius of what Affleck and JP created. Were it not for the visceral, negative reaction to this film that my movie-going companion had and the great lengths I went to to defend its makers I might not have delved deep enough to explain here what I suspect these young celebrities were trying to accomplish. What they did transcended the standard film making formula in ways that are indebted to mockumentarians Rob Reiner and Christopher Guest as well as Sacha Baron Cohen's "Borat". However, what they made was neither a mockumentary (I don't believe they intended to mock anything) nor an elaborate prank meant to shock. It was certainly elaborate but the sense I got was that they wanted to create a portrait that would draw their audience in farther than the artifice of film generally allows. To that end they produced a character, not on a movie set but on the public stage. Then they filmed that character. What I think they achieved was a piece of art that accomplishes what only art can do, namely raise deep questions about real issues with the safety and distance of the media but the real, raw emotion of a group therapy session. It is a dangerous game to play, and it may end up backfiring on them, but at the very least it raises serious questions. It raises questions about deception and film. Is the deception of this film any different than any other film? If so, how and is that difference significant? Perhaps it also sheds light on the deception inherent in mass media. It certainly exposes the interactions between celebrity, media and culture by blurring those lines.

I can't do this review justice without recounting the experience of my friend who accompanied me. He had not heard about Casey Affleck's admission that the film was fictional. He is a very compassionate young man who spends a great deal of his time around people broken by addiction who are struggling with many of the same issues facing JP in the film. As we sat there watching what he took to be a real life nervous breakdown and descent he became visibly upset. At one point he made a comment which made me realize he hadn't heard the news so I enlightened him. From then on a sense of betrayal was all that was left. Affleck and Phoenix had played on his heartstrings and then told him it was a lie. I am left wondering how many others had a similar reaction. That is the risk taken by these filmmakers and, no doubt, the debate will go on regarding their intentions and how successful they were in achieving those goals.

Waiting

Let me just be right up front about this in no uncertain terms.

I
HATE
WAITING

That is a general statement that you can take to the bank. If I'm put in a situation in which I have to wait, I am not pleased. Somehow, I'm beginning to get the feeling that God feels the need to change that about me. Otherwise, why would He continually place me in life situations in which I have no choice but to wait? Of course, I'm not talking about your every day, run of the mill waiting in line here. Oh, no! I'm talking about the continued financial viability of my family is on the line and I have to wait for Him to provide me with some means of actively earning money. Needless to say, this is not a position I would choose for myself. In need of a job in the middle of the worst job market in my lifetime. Stuck between two half-careers. Before this sinks further into ranting and self pity I will move on.

I don't like waiting because I like to be in control. I like to feel powerful. I like to determine how my life will go. When I have to wait I am no longer in control of my situation. I feel powerless. I feel weak. Aha! Perhaps we're getting down to it after all. One of the paradoxes of life lived in relationship with God is that when I am weak I am actually at my strongest. It makes zero point zero sense until I stop looking at myself and the world around me and remember that there's this whole God person who is actually in charge of everything. On my own I have a very limited amount of strength. We all do have some strength. Some of us leverage it into greater strengths than others through hard work and self-promotion. Others are in position to compile the strength of others for their own use. No matter how much strength we can accumulate, however, it will ultimately be a joke compared to the limitless power of the almighty creator of all that exists that is not Himself. So, when He decides that He is going to honor me by using me as a vessel it requires emptying me of all my pathetic "strength" so that He can fill me up with the power to move mountains.

So, here I am, empty. I'm waiting on God to do something with me. As the song says, waiting is the hardest part. The longer I wait, the more doubt creeps in. The longer I wait the more frustrated and angry I become. The longer I wait the deeper my faith has to grow in order to wait one more day. I guess that means that my faith will be deeper tomorrow than it was today. That is certainly worth waiting for.

Adventure

None of us likes being bored. The usual remedy in our culture is entertainment. When I'm feeling bored my first inclination is to seek out some diverting input. Whether it is television, a movie or a video game, I want to be entertained. I've become so accustomed to living in the entertainment-boredom matrix that I have forgotten that there is an alternative to both, adventure. For the purposes of this article I am going to define adventure as non-mediated, exciting activity. Non-mediated means that video games, exciting as they are, are not adventure. Adventure is something that happens in real life.
When faced with this renewed alternative, I have to be honest, I don't really want it much of the time. In fact, at times I will go to great lengths to avoid the adventures presented to me in my life and flee to entertainment, even when that entertainment is so banal it is boring. The irony is not lost on me. So, I question myself. Why don't I want adventure? Why do I prefer even boring entertainment?
The first reason that comes to mind is risk. Because Adventure is something that happens in real life there is a significantly risk level involved. I could get hurt, physically, emotionally, relationally. I could hurt others. I can't get hurt in a video game or watching television. The trade off, of course is quality of life. Adventure adds significantly greater quality to my life than mere entertainment ever could.
Avoid it as I will, adventure is thrust upon me anyway. I've said many times that following Jesus is an adventure and I was more correct than I knew. Even if, like me, you tend to avoid the risks of adventure, God will not let you stay in that fearful place but will regularly put you in circumstances that challenge you to step out in faith. God wants me to trust him and if I am constantly avoiding risk I have no need of Him. It is only when I have something to lose that my profession of faith really means anything.

Commitment

To make a decision and stand by it is a difficult task. It is avoided by some in our society as if it was the Bubonic plague. Many of us fear commitment. We don't want to get involved in anything that we can't get out of. Perhaps it seems like freedom to be so devoid of commitments. Often what many people think of when speaking of commitment is a romantic relationship. Marriage specifically is particularly frightening because it is supposed to be a lifelong commitment. We vow to live our lives committed to our spouse until one of us is dead. In this country, most of us break that vow. I have made that vow to my wife and I fully intend to keep it. There is another lifelong commitment I have made and I made it so long ago I barely remember it.

Twenty eight years ago, at the tender age of four, I made a decision. I decided that I wanted to be a follower of Jesus Christ. Obviously, at that point, I didn't fully grasp what that decision meant but it has shaped my life ever since. I committed my life to the one true creator God and as I grew to understand what that entailed I was faced, at various stages, with the decision to affirm that initial choice in light of what I learned. I sit here today and I make that same decision. I will entrust the one life I have to live to God. If my life is to have any meaning or significance it will be because of His work in and through me. None of this is new in my mind, here is what is new.

Something occurred to me, just today, as I was reflecting on this commitment I continue to make and the precarious position in which I now find myself because of it. I realized that if there is no God, no power above and beyond this finite existence who intends to empower and use me, I am in huge trouble. That conclusion might seem to be an obvious one considering the statements made in the previous paragraph. However, the reason I would be in huge trouble if God does not exist is not because I have entrusted my life to Him. Rather, the reason I would be in huge trouble is because no matter what I entrusted my life to it would ultimately be meaningless in a world without God.

I'm tempted to expound but I will refrain for the sake of time and clarity as I am writing this at 5am. Instead I will leave it at that unless someone has any questions.

Movie Review #8: Inception

It has been almost two hours now since I saw the closing moments of Inception and I still haven't fully recovered. In anticipation of watching Christopher Nolan's latest film I began composing the beginning of this review based on the assumption that Inception would be a good film. I cannot write what I had planned because Inception is not a good film. It is as close to being a perfect film as I have seen in many years. In every way I can imagine, this film excelled. It was written with such depth, heart and intelligence that, even in the middle of watching it I knew I would need to re-watch it many times to fully absorb everything that was going on and, what is more, I knew that I would want to re-watch it many times. I cannot recommend highly enough that those who are of sufficient age and temperament who think they might be interested in seeing Inception go to their local theater and do exactly that. However, I'm going to offer a free piece of advice before you go.

Don't worry if you feel like you're missing a lot of the detail that is being thrown at you about the world that Nolan and company have created for us. It is a rich and complicated world. Allow the mystery of how it all works to remain a mystery for now and to serve as a backdrop for the fantastic stories that are being told against it. Don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to think about it and, someday, to dissect it on DVD.

I won't go into detail about the story line or attempt to describe the ideas put forth in Inception. If you have seen a preview and are intrigued, that will be enough. If you haven't seen a preview either look one up or simply accept my recommendation and go see it. If you have seen a preview and aren't interested, um, frankly I'm surprised that you're reading this.

Inception was masterfully written, beautifully scored and edited to near perfection. The acting performances were outstanding and the overall direction was so outstanding that after seeing it I wondered allowed to those who were with me if there is a better director working today. With six fantastic efforts in a row, going back to the equally mind-boggling Memento, I can't think of any.